Monday, March 14, 2005


When shopping for the fair trade cocktails for our youth club I got a LITTLE bit too enthusiastic about the whole Fair Trade deal and, on a tropical-island-fantasy inspired whim, purchased three fairly traded coconuts. Of course I got them to the youth club and looked at them thinking... well NOW what do I do?

There was far too much going on with the young people so we had NO coconut element to our cocktails and I was left with THREE fairly traded coconuts and NO idea how to get into them or what to do with them if I do other than drink bacardi out of them or crush it and use it in curry! Any grand ideas about using them though DOES rather depend on getting the things open!

I managed to give one to my friend Colin as a bit of a challenge for him. After many amusing "noises off" and talk of "sticking it in the microwave" while Kathryn and I ate our tea Colin successfully opened the coconut using, and I quote "a hacksaw... and a saucepan!" This did not result in two neat "I can make horsey noises like Monty Python and the Holy Grail" coconut halves so I went searching on the net.

One method, which sounds very long and arduous, involves taking off the husk and "finding the three veins".

Method number two
uses a gentler but somewhat slow cooking strategy (though this might result in some useable coconut halves!)

The third way has comprehensive safety advice and tells me that I need to saw the coconut if I want neat halves - logical enough I suppose!
Any other bright ideas? I'm sure my Hawaiian readers might have a better idea than me!


dreaming-neko said...

hmmm... your coconut looks like a bowling ball! :)

we hawaiians, use coconuts for food, tropical drinks, curry, juice, coconut shells for hula dancers, bowls, birds nest, paper-weights, painted art pieces, bowling balls, etc, etc...

you get the idea~ :)

simo said...

I'm not sure these will help with horse sound effects or even being able to eat or drink any of the contents but here are a few suggestions in order of preference:-
1. Hit it with a sledge hammer
2. Hit it with an axe
3. I think the microwave idea should fit in here nicely
4. throw it at a wall
5. give them away as birthday presents and let someone else deal with them.

Hope these help!

pete.maidment said...

what, you hit it with a microwave?

KT said...

if you want horsey noises then saw it in half and good luck getting all the flesh out the middle

if not - drill holes in two of the three eyes and drain out any liquid (yummy stuff) then take a hammer to it until it's in pieces small enough that you can get the flesh off the inside with a blunt knife or your teeth.

either way you'll have to take most of the husk off

hope that helps - haven't done it since I was a kid (seem to remember the flesh coming out the shell with a skin on the outside that mum took a peeler to)

Anonymous said...

Do NOT use a microwave.

You can only use a microwave to open a coconut once.

The microwave stops working about half a second after the coconut opens.

You do not get neat "horsey clip clops" either. You get shrapnel.