Praying

Now some of you might expect a post on here to consist of a resolution to blog more (which I know I should) yet that is not what I'm posting in fact.

What I want to reflect on instead is the process of the creation of this painting below. It may not even be complete as yet as the paint is still wet! This is one of t hose pictures that I've been living with for some time. the roots of it may got back a very long time but the more recent prompt came in November at Youthwork the Conference.

I've tried to capture what prayer feels like. For me I have times of deep connection with God when I get a sense of the Holy Spirit very tangibly moving between my open hands as a living, warm power. I also get a sense of purple, if that makes sense. I've tried to capture these things in this picture but it's still not quite enough. trying to capture something so other-worldly in a static form is always going to be wrought with difficulties.

I'm still not sure that this really conveys how prayer feels but painting it has made me reflect on my experience and wonder how prayer feels for others. It's one of those things people don't often feel comfortable talking about but I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience to mine (or one totally disimilar!).

What colour is your prayer?

Prayer Spaces in Schools

There's a new web page to help you resource prayer spaces in schools. Check it out here.

prayers like incense

I can't quite believe that I haven't blogged about this already but looking back it's not there and it hasn't been that long!

So I went to my artists group a couple of Mondays ago for the appraisal night (my first). The idea is that you bring a painting (or 2 it seems - I wasn't brave enough to take more than one out of the car!!) and then a professional artist appraises it and the group as a whole respond with helpful feedback.

I took along the Are we human or are we dancer canvas


Not unsurprisingly the feedback was almost universally positive for everyone so it was nowhere near as daunting as it might have been. Nonetheless, after about a month long hour my picture still hasn't been put up on the appraisal easel and the lovely mature lady next to me start pestering the man who was in charge of putting the pictures up to put up mine because "this young lady hasn't had her picture viewed yet" and some people were already on their second painting. Now the evening had consisted so far of many landscapes, some of them really superb, others in progress (that WAS brave) and others needing a little something to improve them. There were a few notable exceptions. I was personally struck particularly by the large canvas board with a picture of three HUGE red onions - we're talking the size of basketballs. It was very well done and yet one couldn't help but ask WHY? The same lady also presented a really endearing picture of a live chicken sitting in a basket. Now those of you that know my work from the blog may well have figured by now that, as happy as I am with my work, it certainly doesn't fall in the landscape or onions/chicken category! So I was actually getting increasingly nervous.

When they put my canvas (in reverse) on the easel the man putting it up raised his eyebrows and I squeezed the hand of the lovely lady next to me (who I had only met that evening!) When Giuliano turned the painting around to show to the assembled company there was a chorus of an intake of breath! I was trusting this was "in a good way" and then Giuliano went on to compliment the movement the colours and the composition, the smooth lines of the figure etc. What struck me most were two things he said which Michael keeps repeating to me:

"This is art"

and

"do some more".

People did seem genuinely positive about it and some were intrigued by the title and I had to try and explain the origin!

prayers like incense
Originally uploaded by Sarah Brush

I was mightily encouraged. Unfortunately it has then been a rather busy time until today when I was able to get back to the canvas I started a while ago and I think I have now finished though I may need to wait til morning to be sure!

This painting falls in with a group of others I'm thinking of pulling together for a collection but that is still a thought in process so more on that in the future.

re-fuelling

Newlife (7)
Originally uploaded by Sarah Brush

It was fabulous last weekend to be involved with Rock the Cathedral but it was also really draining. Several of my colleagues asked me if I was "ok" on Friday as I had got really drained by the whole BIG EVENT thing and the attendant aftermath of the sudden drop in adrenalin and all that.

Fortunately I had the time today to do one of those things which is wholly outside my work. One of my "sabbath-day" talents as Bishop John (Oxon) calls them. I really enjoy painting and today I spent a long time on this piece whilst listening to my new Finchley album especially Track 12 called Struggle On. It felt right to draw something from one of the groups that rocked the cathedral last weekend to my quieter reflection this weekend.

The odd thing about this painting is that there's another one hidden in there. I started painting one thing and then found myself just blotting that out and reworking the pain into the background. That's something that was part of the process but is totally not seen in the final thing. I had painted images of white figures moving to a brighter centre but that wasn't what I felt was meant to be there in the end so, against all my better judgement I just blanked them out with no record of them except in my mind.

This image replaced them, of humanity born out of the blue and green of the earth and bathed in God's light.

I hope that the feeling I'm having for it isn't "pride" as such but rather a deep peace at feeling that I've painted something beautiful which speaks to me and hopefully will speak to others.

Prayer of St Francis

Mark has already posted on the Prayer of St Francis and, having searched iTunes etc, I've not been able to find the song on its own but I have found it in the context where I first heard it, in the world of Buffy. So, if Buffy the Vampire isn't your thing, press play then open another window and just listen. Sarah Mclachlan really does a beautiful job!

Lent 1: Prayer

If you really want to make a group of Christians uncomfortable there’s one question which is guaranteed to make everyone feel guilty:

How’s your prayer life?

No matter how regularly or devotedly or continually we pray – it’s not something we ever perfect.

Prayer also raises many questions:
How do we pray?
What happens when we pray? How does God answer prayer?

Our readings this morning don’t entirely lend themselves to our themes for Lent. Yet their focus on our sinfulness do stress our need for prayer.

The relationship between Adam and God seems so easy in some ways. Sometimes our prayer can be so simple and normal as Adam to God when God is telling about the trees in the garden. Other times it is more like later in the story. We hide from God, even though we know God knows exactly what is going on in our hearts and minds.
Yet our story does not end with Adam, as the old translation has it:

“For as in Adam all die even so in Christ shall all be made alive.”

Part of our natural human nature may be, like Adam, to rebel but following the example of Christ we are called to be truly alive as human beings and acknowledge that a relationship with God is something that is an essential part of our being and the meaning of our existence.

After forty days of fasting and praying, as the Gospel tells us, Jesus has the strength to resist the devil’s temptation. And for those times when we can’t resist the temptation - our prayer is there to put us right with God again.

What is prayer? What happens when we pray?

“Prayer is the act by which we place ourselves consciously and voluntarily in the presence of God. It is a time when human beings fully express their identity as believers. When we pray, we implicitly define ourselves as people who do not claim to find our source in ourselves; we come to God with open hands. God is, of course, always with us, and we may wish to live at every moment as if God were the beginning and end of our existence. But forgetfulness is part of the human condition, and our many activities and cares inevitably distract and scatter us. For this reason, those moments when we stop to center ourselves on "the one thing that matters" (see Lk 10:42) are essential.”

Wise words from Br John of Taizé.

I find it hard to define what happens when I pray. Prayer is that which connects us with God and for me is often achieved as much in conversation with a group as in quiet time on a hillside or in the crypt of an ancient church.

As a film lover I always think that it should somehow be more dramatic with special effects and an impressive soundtrack but as the story in the Hebrew Scriptures reminds us – God is not in the whirlwind but in the stillness (1 Kings 19). If prayer is our expression of our relationship with God it can be like those times in our human relationships when we talk and talk with someone and it’s wonderful to feel we’re really getting to know them and yet there are also those times when you can sit in silence with a friend and it can mean so much more that all those words.
And trying too hard can also inhibit our relationship with God. One of the desert fathers when asked by an earnest and fervent young disciple about the trouble he was having as he kept falling asleep during prayer. The desert father replied – sleep can also be prayer

So how do we pray?
There are many things that can lead us to that connection with God. There are things that some people will find incredibly useful and which will leave others cold.

All the things I can recommend are merely tools towards prayer – they are not themselves prayer

The words are not the prayer, the rosary is not the prayer, the icon is not the prayer, the music is not the prayer, the candle is not the prayer. The prayer is that moment of connection and of finding yourself held in the palm of God’s hand and not needing any of that which led you there.

So what are some of the things that can lead us there

Hands (from the Emmaus course)
Thumb – those closest to us
Forefinger those who lead – who point the way
Middle finger – the longest – those far away
Ring finger – those who are weak
Little finger – yourself

Focus on a single verse or image and find stillness and silence and when thoughts flood in to distract – refocus on that verse or image

Jesus prayer – based on the prayer of the sinful tax collector which Jesus commended over the grand proclamation of the self-righteous Pharisee (luke 18.13)

Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God have mercy on me a sinner
Designed to be breathed in the first half and out in the second, breathing in God and breathing out sin

Of course there is another great model of prayer which Jesus gave us.

Rowan Williams, in a reflection that led to rather less controversy than that of recent days said: “If somebody said, give me a summary of Christian faith on the back of an envelope, the best thing to do would be to write Our Lord's Prayer...” Every single bit of the Lord's Prayer is radical because every single bit of it challenges our assumptions about who we are and who God is and what the world is like.”

That model tells us that our prayer starts with relationship with god Our father. In the greek FATHER (pater) is the first word and makes this relational element so much clearer.

“real Christian praying is standing with Jesus and saying to God the words that Jesus would say to God, Father. All prayer has to be like that for Christians. And all prayer has to be aware of our frailty, aware of the ways in which our lives are at risk. All prayer has to acknowledge our need of forgiveness and our need to forgive. So it's not so much that there would be other ways of saying it, we say those words simply because Jesus told us to. But from that prayer we can get a model, an inspiration for the nature of all the prayers we ever offer.”

When I was a teenager the curate working with us advised us, when we said the Lord’s prayer to think of one line of it rather than rattling it of; To focus on a single phrase throughout. Others advise focussing on each phrase at a time and considering what that single phrase says to us. (see my earlier reflection on the Lord's Prayer)

All these things are the path we walk on or the train that takes us there and for each of us in different times of our lives, different things will take us further on our journey. The mode of transport is not important as long as it moves you on towards the destination which is communion with God.

Finally that last question..
How does God answer prayer? Like a good parent God doesn’t always say yes.

The film Bruce almighty shows Bruce given the powers of God for one small part of the world and he decides to say YES to all prayers which leads to total chaos as several thousand win the lottery The alternative isn’t necessarily NO but “not yet” or “why do you ask for that when I have something so much better in mind?”

And how does that answer come. Is it written in the sky by a plane specially commissioned by God, emblazoned in neon lights in a shop when you walk down the street? No the answer comes as it did for Elijah

“a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”

(1 Kings 19.11-12)

Prayers of Mother Theresa

These were the prayers written by Mother Theresa that I used this evening:

Breathe in us, O Holy Spirit, that our thoughts may all be holy
Act in us, O Holy Spirit, that our work too may be holy
Draw our hearts, O Holy Spirit, that we love but what is holy
Strengthen us, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy
Guide us then, O Holy Spirit, that we always may be holy. Amen
Deliver us, O Jesus,

From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire to being honoured,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the desire of being popular,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being suspected.
Amen.
Lead us from death to life,
from lies to truth
Lead us from despair to hope
from fear to trust
Lead us from hatred to love
from war to peace
Let peace fill our hearts, our world
our universe with peace. Amen

O God, Father of every human being, you ask us all to bring love where the poor are humiliated, reconciliation where human beings are divided, joy where the Church is shaken. You open this road for us so that we may be ferments of communion throughout the entire human family.

Make us worthy, Lord, to serve our fellow men throughout the world, who live and die in poverty and hunger. Give them today, through our hands, their daily bread and through our understanding love, give peace and joy. Amen

Dear Jesus, help us to spread Thy fragrance everywhere we go. Flood our souls with Thy spirit and love. Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly that all our life may only be a radiance of Thine. Shine through us and be so in us that every soul we come in contact with may feel Thy presence in our souls. Let them look up and see no longer us but only Jesus. Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine, so to shine as to be a light to others. Amen

Armour Believer

I can't believe I haven't put up the notes from my talk to Cross-Section on Sunday! Well I suppose I can as I have been kinda busy since then BUT I do usually manage it. In fact it was one of those talks which I can't quite remember. A friend kindly said "those ar the best kind" and another also confirmed I said something that hit home so...

We often think of faith as a journey. At the moment if we were going ona journey we might take a rain coat and heavy boots (there were props - can you guess what!) but of course I'm not talking about that kind of a journey. The faith journey isn't like that but we still need to be equipped.

How about these (ok without the visual bit here this may have slightly less impact)

a sign to point the way (a cross)
a map of where we're going (a Bible)
something to light the way (a candle - Christians use those a lot)
a guide book to explain everything (a bible commentary)

Well let's have a look at what Jesus' model was:

After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road. "When you enter a house, first say, 'Peace to this house.' If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you. Stay in that house, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house. "When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is set before you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, 'The kingdom of God is near you.' But when you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, 'Even the dust of your town that sticks to our feet we wipe off against you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God is near.'

Luke 10:1-11

So Jesus didn't tell the disciples to go out with Scriptures and commentaries and of course he wouldn't have sent them with a cross. No the equipping we need for our journeys of faith is very different. Paul considers faith not so much a journey as a battle:

"Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Ephesians 6.11-18

So in Paul's image of the battle of faith, our armour is not something you can pick up and hold it's not something you put on - it's something inside; it's the way you behave and how you feel. So what is this armour?

At the centre is the belt of truth - the thing which holds everything in right in the middle is TRUTH. The truth of the Gospel of Christ. The knowledge that this Good news is TRUE and is TRUTH is central to our defence and our faith.

What is it that protects us against temptation? against sin? Righteousness is what protects us. You can wear a silver ring as a symbol of that if you like but it is your own inner sense of Christian morality, your own righteousness which will protect you against sin.

Our feet a protected too. Whether we are called on to stand firm against oppression by others because of our faith or if we must follow Christ and MOVE. It is the READINESS of the Gospel of peace. What does that mean? It is that inner peace, that calm still centre which is the knowledge of the peace which God gives that makes us able to stand firm or to follow where Christ leads. (My peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you etc.)

What about all those peopel who attack our faith; people at school who take the mick out of you for being a Christian or just for believing SOMETHING rather than being cynical "like everyoe else". I often think this is harder for young people than for adults. Most adults will be polite and not criticise someone for their faith even if they do disagree but young people will voice their opinion and the defence against that is your own faith in God.

For all those times when someone does try to RATIONALISE you out of your faith there is this helmet of salvation. People may try to make arguments that they call logical against your belief in God but the knowledge of the salvation that God offers all through the death and resurrection of his son; that totally irrational illogical love of God for his creation and his children.

Now the last in the list. The ONLY weapon please note. The Sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. When people DO attack your faith, God offers all this armour to defend you and he gives us just one weapon; the word of God which is revealed in scripture and the words given to you by inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Those are the only things you can use to fight back.

That doesn't make it easy. It is a struggle to keep the faith in an increasingly secular world and that's why we at Cross-Section what to give you some tools for that journey. One of them is the Examen, an ancient form of prayer used by Ignatius Loyola and many Christians since. You can do this each night when before you go to sleep - something we all do pretty much everyday, no matter how late! We'll do it now and you can try it on your own again tongiht or tomorrow night as one of your tools for the journey.

Examen-ation time?

We used a form of the examen at Cross-Section on Sunday...

Do I hear "what's the examen?" or "what's Cross-Section?"

Head on over to the WYDE blog to find out!